The big disconnect to reconnect

Lets get brutal and honest right now...brutally honest I suppose youd say.

Since ive started work, ive become a different person. Ive become a different mother. And Im not happy within myself anymore. Part of the reason im writing this blog I suppose. Its all about the journey.

Once upon a time id wake in the mornings, Id snuggle my babies, Id spend the day being crafty, playing imagination games, baking and generally having fun. I loved my days, I was connected with my children. We had fun.
In the interest of honesty, I still had bad days. I still had days where the moment my MR walked through the door, Id give him the children and go and hide for 5 minutes in silence. I still had days where I wasnt sure I was a good, meaningful, capable mum. But those days were significantly more numbered than they are now.

Now, my days go a little bit like this. I get up and check my phone, I go out on to the couch and makes the kids breakfast, then I sit, I watch tv, I sit on my phone. I dont connect with my children like I used too. Im tired alot, the days I have off now, I spend cleaning or cooking or generally feeling sorry for me.

THIS ENDS NOW!

I am now on leave, I want to spend this time with my children, I want to dive in, get dirty, have fun and really appreciate my childrens smiles, memorise their laughter. Ignore the mess and just connect.

So thats the plan. We will have days at home, building forts, baking, painting, pasting! we will have days out and about, visiting the park, the zoo and other local places.

Im going to spend less time mindlessly searching social media, missing the wonderful things right in front of me.

This is a big part of my journey and I cant wait to share it with you.

Do you have any hints and tips for recconecting? Have you ever been through anything like this?

The hiatus, and why im back

Hi guys!

Ive missed you, ive missed writting, ive missed sharing.

I had to take a break. To start off with I decided i needed a week. to switch off and disconnect. A week turned into a month, which turned into 6 months. And now I feel ready to come back and begin sharing again.

So why the hiatus you make ask?

Viral blog post...to put it simply.

The very last post on this blog when viral. More viral than anything ive ever written before. My last post was quite literally read, 8000x more than my next highest read post. It was posted on facebook pages such as Kidspot, News.com and Daily Mail. It was also on radio, news and other media outlets. It went crazy. I was contacted by people to give interviews, podcasts and phone calls. Everyone wanted to hear about my interaction with that mother and daughter.

At first I was totally blown away. I watched the number on my blog climb and climb, I watched my inbox fill! I was happy at first because I though I was able to share this story and hopefully share the love. The idea behind the post in the first place. How ever thats not entirely what took place.

Most of the comments on the post were positive, supporting me, supporting my choices. However it wasnt those comments that stuck with me. It was the negative comments, however not just the ones directed at me. I would open the comments section and see mothers attacking other mothers for their choices. I saw the breastfeeding and formular feeding war unfolding before my eyes. This was the opposite of why I shared my story.

I wanted to spread love, I wanted to share the story to enforce the importance of parents supporting one another. This was not what happened in the end and I couldnt stand it. I felt awful for the women that were fighting. I felt awful for people feeling as though I was attacking other mothers for not breastfeeding.

Thats not me, thats not what im about. I support any parent making any decision that is best for them and best for their children. Thats the message I wanted to share. I got messages from people, telling me I was sexually abusing my child by feeding for so long. I got messages from people saying I was disgusting for shaming other mothers. I got messages from people asking for explicit images.

I had to switch off. I had to close down the blog and ignore these messages.

The article still pops up in my feed every now and then and it just makes me cringe.

So now im back, for a couple of reasons. One to say to everyone:

I suppprt you, I support your decisions, I support you caring and loving your children exactly how you see fit. Please know that I think each and every one of you is fantastic.

The second reason?

Its Troll free day today. I LOVE THIS CONCEPT! Share the love, spread the love, support one another. What better day than to switch back on, than today!

So im being brave, im coming back to continue to share my story, to share my journey, I have lots of things I want to do, lots of things I want to share and I want to connect with others going through the same things!

So here I am, the trolls wont win! Support and love will win!

Lets do this :)